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The day was painful when colleagues ask why your eyes are swollen, why so quiet, blah blah. Answering them saps ma life force.
Dragged ma ass to the gym after the huge rain and instantly felt better after the work out and binging on kebab wrap.
Plonked down to Dota to distract myself and while time away.
Laid in bed and checked out “Timehop” app, and it informed me that today is the day he went back to Japan after a brief visit. Damned he looked cute in the photo.
In a nutshell. It gets better.
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I Don’t Love You
“Sometimes we tend to be in despair when the person we love leaves us, but the truth is, it’s not our loss, but theirs, for they left the only person who wouldn’t give up on them.”
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Skipped work, and just laid in bed. Really wanted to quit my job and not do anything. Had to deal with screaming bitches (at home) and friend’s comment of “Go lose weight and be hot again!” 9/10 tells me that.
Tried my best not to think about anything and sleep but unless I murder my younger sis, it’s impossible.
A bad mistake of scrolling my timeline on Facebook and saw things we did in the past. /bam and it hit me again. Going to delete all those album till I’m feeling better. No wait, let me just delete everything that happened for the past 10 years.
Did my best to prevent myself from posting anything on Facebook.
Meet friends up for meals so I won’t skip any
Head to gym and tire myself out to get better sleep.
Oddly, there’s no anger or rage. Just disappointment. Just sad and bewildered. Why now? Why after so long? No one will admit it’s the third party, but hell I know that must be the cause of it.
Ok enough thinking. Time to sleep.
Im just glad hardly anyone reads my tumblr. Not even him.
Reality sinks in and spent most of the day rolling up in bed. How I’m feeling? Feels like you’ve lost the only safety net in your life. The only that’s real for the past years of my life has just vanished and yet, you know it’s only for the better.
Things that made my eyes sting today?
1) Remembering the hair cut I did for him in Japan
2) The “July” present I’m accumulating for his big 35
3) Deleting the old message and tossing some photos out for the birthday collage presentation.
4) Recalling what sparked the whole incident was cause I went to Medi-ya to buy ingredients to replicate the Alio Olio he liked.
5) He didn’t get to try it, so I tossed it.
Stay strong! And I’ll get through this.
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