Recently a friend was trying to book a usual slot for a volleyball court on Sunday. Due to some bank issues, she didn’t get the spot.  She was so apologetic and sad, so being Mr. Smarty pants, I tried to cheer her up by giving her stupid excuse. 

Knowing which team booked the 3-6pm slot, (we lost the 11-3 slot) I jokingly said “XXX stole your spot!” It was like me saying “I’m having dinner in the toilet!”  Seriously, it was a joke cause everyone knows they play at a different timing. 

But guess what? Someone decided to flame me on Facebook and even asked some random girl to add me as ma profile was private. Well, since you wanted to see if I’m gonna apologize as I’ve insulted your “group”, here’s ma official statement. 

I really don’t care who you are or what the group stands for. Volleyball is a sport we all play and it was really a joke. Instead of asking or confronting me, you decided to flame on Facebook. Now tell me, who is the childish one?

Oh, the dirt people post on their walls. I scrolled down and realize you are really a whiner. Complaining about work, being sacked and airline service. You must be really free to post so much personal drama. 

And this is you getting sacked from work. -.-

Blah blah blah. Oh and this is my personal space. If you are not happy with what I have to say? Go on. Flame me on your pathetic Facebook.

What can we do with wounded pride? With disappointment? With jealousy? With the sense of having been wronged? What can we do with all those feelings that invite us to become cold, bitter, angry, and cynical? What can we do when we’ve sinned and betrayed our own dignity and dreams?

The natural temptation is to deny, to lie, to pretend that none of this is happening inside us. And so when we’re asked how we are, we generally say we’re fine, even when our hearts are bleeding, our jealousy is raging, our faces are tense, our eyes are sad, our dignity is compromised, our fists are clenched.

Whenever we deny that we’re wounded, we prepare the perfect breeding ground for bitterness, anger, cynicism, coldness, and rage. When we don’t recognize and accept our wounds and frustrations, we easily grow cold, grow hard, and toughen our skins, minds, and hearts. We turn away in bitterness from what’s soft and life giving to what’s hard so as to put a protective shell over our wounded pride. It seems the only way to preserve ourselves.

Recently a group of my friends got really serious with Volleyball. 

Nope, they are not a bunch of athletic teenagers but a group of 30ish adults with a normal hectic working life.

I was never good with saying nice things. Nice things just turn out awful when it comes from me. But still, they reminded me of why I love playing volleyball so much. It a sad fact that no matter how much I try to push myself, my lack of discipline in dieting will not help me in this sport I so dearly love.

But looking back, I’ve played this sport on and off, from everyday to not touching the Volleyball for an entire year.  What I’ve learn to appreciate and be so thankful for are the people that plays with me. People that are willing to play in the same team as me even though I not great at this sport. Laughing it off when I miss receive or simply making fun of me when I couldn’t  get a decent serve. Still, week after week, year after year, they are willing to play with me. 

And in the recent years, I found more people playing this sport I once believe was dying a natural death. People would rather be known as a Dragon Boater, Triathlete or Canoeist, instead of a Volleyball player. It got me all sexed up for the sport again. 

No my skill have not improved over the years, neither have I become skinny and lanky like the rest of my mates, but the best feeling is that they will still play with me no matter how bad/good I’ve become. Getting better at the sport isn’t just about aquiring new skills, its about how you love the sport and those who plays with you. 

Thank you guys for making Volleyball such an amazing sport for me.

I have nothing against people raving about shows or repostings stuff on Facebook. But, recently there was an onslaught of posting about Apple of My Eye.  I have nothing against that movie too. A typical teenage boy meets girl. Boy like girl. Blah blah..

What got me so confused was this was one of the top grossing Taiwan films in Singapore. I went to watch the 2nd and 3rd time to see if there was something I missed out. Nope, nothing. So I went to ask ma friends, what they like about it.

“Nice story lo”  said one. I’m like, so nice meh?! Was there a hidden easter egg I’m not aware of?!  

“I can so relate to it!” And that was from a gay friend of mine. Erm… which part did you relate to? The 3 guys showering together in the University? Walking around naked in the house? Boxing your ass off for a girl? Or did your boyfriend tie his hair into a pony tail?

“Reminds me of my school days” said a female friend of mine. Fair enough. If she was a fucking hot chick and 5 guys wanted to get into her panties. But, never mind. I shall leave it as that.

If you tell me the lead is hot and I love the show, fine, I get it. If you feel that the story is out of the world amazing, fine. I doubt your taste in movie but I can accept that too. It is a matter of preference. 

The problem probably lies with me. I went to get the book and read it. It was witty and entertaining, not fucktastic. So tell me, what is so special about this movie?

人往往都被慾望牽著走。

There’s like some kinda screeching bird/animal in the park now sounding like its getting slaughtered, and yes I used ‘sounding like’ cuz this is Japan and no one slaughters animal in da park right?

眼前那天空的顏色慢慢藍成一片，

他想起他喜歡上天空藍的原因，

一個一樣擁有細長雙眼跟燦爛微笑的男生，

那男生對他很好，雖然只是朋友的體貼，

但對當時自卑又不善處理人際關係的他來說，

那是會讓人哭泣的溫柔，但是那男生走了，

遠遠的離開他的生活；哭泣的溫柔離開了把哭泣也帶走了，

他開始把自己變的堅強，從那之後到現在的日子裡，

他們只再見過一次面，那天男生穿著一件天空藍的襯衫；

他永遠記得兩人當時見面時的開心，還有不停歇的笑聲，

那似乎變成一個代號，原本哭泣的離開的溫柔，有了開朗的顏色，

五味雜陳的回憶，讓天空藍變成他的幸運符，將會帶給他幸福。

我知道怎麼遺忘
知道怎麼拋棄悲傷 
我會告訴你們
讓你們也學會遺忘 
不是永遠的假裝 

假裝自己很堅強
假裝那些悲傷沒有來過一樣
我知道你們想隱藏
不想讓其他人看見你被弄得遍體鱗傷
只能在微笑的背後療養
故作堅強

回來的路上跌跌撞撞
卻從來沒有放棄希望
舔舐著愴傷
在恢復之後徬徨
思考著到底有沒有屬於自己的天堂

聽著天使在歌唱
終於有勇氣展開翅膀
在天空中飛翔

如果哪一天我開始回想
我會什麼有勇氣在天空翱翔
答案肯定是我已經學會遺忘 遺忘悲傷

最初的快樂 已被分割
一塊一塊的分散　不再完整
淚水與笑容混雜　痛苦與歡樂交錯
如果　哭泣能夠將支離破碎的快樂拼湊回來
如果　哭泣能將最初的快樂恢復原狀
那麼　我願意　就算哭瞎了眼　也甘願不斷的哭泣